weddings, etc.

I've been meaning to write a blog about this for awhile and since I'm on my off week for photos (27 weeks today) I figured now is as good as time as any to tackle this one. Weddings. Because no matter what, in the course of your 10 months of pregnancy (yes, it's actually 10 months when you do the math. You're in your 9th month for approx 4 weeks so that's not really 9 months of pregnancy) something important is going to conflict. In my case it's weddings. Two of them actually. But I'm actually IN one of those. So this creates issues for both the pregnant bridesmaid, who has to worry about fitting into a non-maternity dress and how to make a basketball in her spanx look slimming, and the bride, who has been slaving over creating the perfect wedding for months and is less than thrilled at the prospect of you ruining her photos and ditching BM obligations (unless she realizes that if she stands next to you she'll look amazing). But I actually have had the experience of knowing brides who considered dis-asking someone to be in their wedding because of their pregnancy. And that was a FSIL. That didn't happen in my case but it does create some anxiety (and major alterations) all around. My bride actually has a wedding blog and dedicated a post to this issue (http://behindthegreenveil.blogspot.com/2010/05/everybodys-got-one.html).

In my case, I am actually really excited to be in this wedding (she is a wedding planner in the making so it's all fancy fancy. At least a DIY version of fancy fancy) and am planning on doing all of the wedding stuff. That's right. A trip to DC for the shower and night on the town 7 1/2 months in. And don't think I'm skimping on the shoes, I've got a good 2 inch heel planned to walk myself down the aisle on the big day. Am I crazy? Maybe. But it's just pregnancy people. It's just an extra 20 pounds or so, it's not like I'm actually carrying a screaming child down the aisle. But here's the thing, whenever I tell people I'm in the wedding, and the timing (technically I'll be almost 37 weeks, or 9 months, pregnant) I always get the wide-eyed silent stare down (translation: you are crazy). And then I say, well my DH will be there so if anything happens it's not a big deal. To which I get an even bigger stare down. It's just New Jersey, it's not like it's China (side note: I actually have a friend due the same time as me that is having a baby in China. Apparently when you give birth there you get 2 free nights accomodations and a champagne breakfast). Granted the bride wouldn't be thrilled if I had a baby during her wedding, but my point is that there's not a big risk to me going. There is no danger to me or the baby from being in an airplane (other than it being uncomfortable) and chances of me having a baby on the plane is nill to none. It's a direct flight that lasts 4 hours, hate to break it to you if this is news, but it takes much longer than that to have a baby. So I promise if I'm in labor, I won't get on the plane. But somehow this doesn't assure people. Either that or they think I'm crazy for risking having a baby in NJ (I haven't been there myself but it can't be that bad). To be honest, I am really dreading having a bunch of people clamoring to get down to the hospital before my water breaks so part of me would be secretly thrilled if we could run off and have a baby somewhere and then show him off later, once I'm showered and done screaming.

But the hardest part of all of this is that sadly, I have to admit that there are limitations that even I cannot will myself to overcome. This was illuminated very clearly to me over the course of planning my trip to Vegas next weekend for the bachelorette party for wedding #2 (the one that I am not in, and probably won't be able to make as it is 3 weeks after my due date and my doctor doesn't think it's a good idea to expose babies to insulated flying germ machines until after they are 4 weeks old. Longer for formula feed babies). The obvious limitation is alcohol (although I went out Friday night with some friends and met another fellow pregnant lady who told me she drinks a half of glass a wine a week. It sounded fine until I saw her with the wine in hand and I have to say that with the protruding belly it made me want to look away a little bit). Limitation #2 came when we all decided to share a room (2 queen-sized beds + 1 couch = 5 girls). I had to be the pain and ask not to be the one to sleep on the couch (it doesn't fold out and I already have major sleeping option limitations) and although they did accomodate they weren't super thrilled. Limitation #3 came when they wanted to go to the salon. No hot tubs, sauna's, steam rooms, for me. That's fine. I'll bring a book and stick my feet in a bucket of ice. The organizer of the bachelorette gave us a choice of 3 different salons. I was excited to see that 2 of them offered preggo massages, but in the end I was out-voted and so instead I had to opt for a "special" facial (special because apparently I can't put a bunch of stuff on my face like Retin-A & essential oils). Finally, limitation #4 came when they told me our big night out would involve dinnner at a AMAZING sushi place. For those of you that know me, this is the biggest limitation of them all. So in the end, will this bachelorette trip to Vegas be worth it? We'll see. But I am determined at the very least not to let other peoples negativity stop me from trying (and just wait until you see the outfits I have planned...words cannot describe a gold sequenced tank top stretched over an expectant tummy).