8 weeks

Today I am officially 8 weeks pregnant. According to What to Expect When Your Expecting http://www.whattoexpect.com/ this baby is now the size of a raspberry. Hard to believe. It's not that I never planned on getting pregnant, don't get me wrong, just that now it's really real. Like heard the heart beat, saw the flicker of movement, can't eat anything, real. It's one thing to say you want to have kids some day, and quite another to be carrying one. There's not really any middle steps. Unless I want to start carrying around an egg in my purse and wearing a 20 pound fanny pack, but that's a little Degrassi Junior High. So here I am. Pregnant. Yikes, even just seeing that in print is scary. I'm not exactly the maternal type. I get more excited over puppies than babies (Is there even a comparison there? Come on....puppies!). Babies are awkward. They just stare at you and don't do anything (if your lucky). And the parents of the babies are the worst. They are completely oblivous to the fact their child doesn't have a clue what's going on but they love it when you, innocent bystander, pretend that you don't notice that their baby is boring. So as I was saying, I always wanted to have kids some day. Today is the day (well technically somewhere around Oct. 12th is the day) and the journey has begun.

Thursday we (as in my husband and I....yes, I made him come...although he said he wanted to this really had no impact on whether he came or not) had our first doctor's appointment. We had an ultrasound done and she said that everything looked good and normal (which was a relief. I spent too much time reading other people's blogs and posts online and had convinced myself that I either had a blighted ovum or an ectopic pregnancy. I had to then explain to my husband what these things were). So although we were going to wait until the 1st trimester was up to tell other people our news, the doctor said that there was less than 10% chance that we would lose the pregnancy at that point, so we decided to tell our immediate family on the weekend. We also told a few close friends (really, it's hard to not tell ANYONE. The morning sickness alone requires you have a least 2 people you can complain to.) I am still not telling my boss or my work friends but that's for another blog. I figure they'll figure it out once they see my fashion sense become increasingly matronly (also for another blog). I had to tell my family on the phone since they don't live anywhere near me. But I did tell my mom over skype which was fun. The conversation went something like this:

Me: "Mom, I sent you an email which has the 2nd part of your birthday present"
Mom: "Oh ok" (opens her email which has a scanned photo of the ultrasound) "What is that?"
Me: "You don't know what that is?"
Mom: "No, what is it?"
Me: "Mom, you seriously don't know what that is?"
Mom: "No....is there people in it?"
Me: "Well there's one person in it"
Mom: "I can't see it....they must be really far away"
My husband: "Yeah....like 7 1/2 months away"
Mom: "It looks like a big hole....or a tunnel...."
Me and husband: speechless and trying to control our laughter
Mom: "Is it an ultrasound?"
Me: "YES!"
Mom: "Who's is it?"
Me: "Mine!"
Mom: "Oh........really???" smiling....but still uncertain as to if this is a big joke and there really is a person trapped in a hole 5 miles away.
Me: "Mom, how did you not know that was an ultrasound?! You had 3 kids"
Mom: "Yeah, but I never looked at them"

I found out later from my sister that my mom was very confused because she wasn't sure if this was something we wanted or not (incidently my sister also asked if this was an "exciting momment" or an "oh shit momment") which goes back to my original statement that I am not a maternal person (now you know I'm not just being modest and actually take the neighbors babies to the park on the weekends). I've tried to hold other peoples babies when I see them to get practice but that hasn't worked out too well. One, I don't know many people with babies, two, I don't really want to (it's kind of like when I said I really needed to learn how to cook well before I move out on my own....as it turns out....I still need to learn how to cook well). Before you call child protective services though, people (as in moms) tell me that I will like my children. In fact, they think it is funny that I'm scared I won't like my children. I don't think this is really funny (you probably don't either....really...please put down the phone.). So you see....this journey is really all about me.